Lullum and her Squid
by Fluffy Octopus SSSSo3oSSSS
Summary: Crossover starring Luna as our beloved Gollum and Bilbo Baggins. Set in The Hobbit, with appearance of Giant Squid. No pairing, just a short idea that I blew up into a big fanfiction story.


Note: This is strongly based (as in, have the book next to me while writing) on the masterpiece of a children's book, The Hobbit (chapter: Riddles in the Dark) Yes, it is labeled under LOTR, but since most people recognize TH as part of the LOTR series I decided to just go with it. In case it wasn't already obvious, Luna is Gollum (aka Lullum). No Luna/Bilbo here, thank you very much!

In the deep recesses of the earth, living on an island in an underground lake, lived Lullum, a small scrawny creature. No one knows where she came from, nor who or what she was; she was simply Lullum – skin as pale as light, with two big protruding eyes (a pale blue colour) and a few wispy strands of pale blonde (It is assumed that she was once some form of Hobbit, but how she got so far underground is altogether a mystery).

She had a little boat, and she rowed about quite silently on the lake; for a lake it was, broad and deep and horribly cold. she paddled it with dainty feet dangling over the side, but not a single ripple did she make. Not she.

She was looking out of her pale sky-like eyes for the Giant Squid, which was her only friend down in the caves, and which provided her with the edible plants that grew on the bottom of the lake. She liked Orcs too. Goblins she thought pleasant, when she bumped into them, but she took care they never found where she lived. She just convinced them that the Giant Squid would kill them if they got closer, if they ever came down alone anywhere near the edge of the water, which usually turned them away. They very seldom approached her anyway, for they had a feeling that something bizarre was lurking down there; and that bizarre thing was Lullum herself.

Actually Lullum lived on a smooth bed of rock in the middle of the lake. She was watching Bilbo with much curiosity now from the distance with her pale eyes like telescopes. Bilbo could not see her, but she was wondering a lot about Bilbo, for she could see that he was no goblin at all.

Lullum got into her boat and shot off from the island, while Bilbo was sitting on the brink quite confused and at the end of his wits. Suddenly Lullum popped up and whispered dreamily:

"By Gandalf's beard, my preciousssss! I thought he was a Crumple Horned Snorkack but I'm terribly wrong; at least a wonderful discovery he'd make usss, lullum!"

And when she said lullum she made a terribly curious swallowing sound in her throat. That is how she got her name, though she always called herself 'my precious'

The hobbit nearly jumped out of his skin when the hiss came in his ears, and he suddenly saw the pale eyes sticking out at him.

"Who are you?" he said, almost unsheathing his dagger when he realized it seemed rather female-ish, and decided not to.

"I wonder what he iss, my precioussss?" whispered Lullum (who was actually speaking to the Giant Squid, watching the action from a safe distance). This was what she had come to find out for she wasn't feeling very social at the moment, only curious; and her curiosity always massively overwhelmed everything else.

"I am Mr. Bilbo Baggins. I have been separated from my dwarf companions and the wizard, and I have no idea where I am – that is, not that I want to know, I only want to get going."

"What's he got in his hands?" said Lullum, having drifted away from the conversation to the sword, which she had never seen before.

"This is nothing, simply a sword which came out of Gondolin. I am of no harm to you," said Bilbo, who had decided that Lullum was indeed a harmless female, and his chivalry would allow him to do her no harm.

"Ohhh" said Lullum, and became quite friendly, her curiousity aroused upon the mention of Gondolin. "Perhapsss he'd like to sit here and chat a bit, my preciousss? He like riddlesss, perhaps he does, does it?" She realized that this creature had information of the Upper World, and was anxious to keep him here, at any rate for the moment, until she determined if he had potential to be a friend. Then she'd finally be able to introduced Giant Squid to someone without trying to scare the person off. Riddles were all she could think of, to kill time. Asking them, and sometimes guessing them, had been the only game she had played with other funny creatures before they all moved away to another mountain and she was left alone, down, down under the mountains.

"Very well, said Bilbo, who was growing to rather like this little creature, who seemed rather alone and pitiful.

"You ask first," he said, because he could not think of a good one yet. So Lullum told her riddle in a sing-song voice – a rather easy one, that Bilbo guesses with ease.

"Does he guess easily? He must have a competition with us, my preciouss! If precious winsss, then he talks to usss more. If preciousss loses, then we do what he wantsss; we leadss him out, yes!"

"Oh, alright!" said Bilbo, thinking that both outcomes were rather fine, and was bursting his brain trying to dig up riddles to make it a fun game. And thus began a game of riddles, of which both creatures happened to be mighty good at. Curiously for Lullum, she had lost interest in the game and decided to just introduce Giant Squid to Bilbo, who turned out rather friendly.

"Well," he said. "I suppose a promise is a promise. Great game but I'm afraid that you must show me the way out now." Bilbo was rather disappointed, to be honest, but the need for haste was great.

"We did say so, precious. Show Baggins the way out, yes, yes. We must go and get some things first, yes, things to help," said Lullum, who was looking for an excuse to go back to her island to get Giant Squid.

"Well, hurry u-" Bilbo stopped mid-sentence, staring with fear at the gigantic animal looming in front of him. It appeared that Giant Squid had taken Lullum's cue.

Quite terrified, with no due notice, he turned and ran blindly back up the dark passage down which he had come, eventually disappearing into the darkness. Left behind was Lullum and the Giant Squid, who cowered in a corner, aware of the fact that he had chosen a bad time.

"My preciouss, why do you hidess there? It was not your fault, Bagginsss was simply too cowardly. Not worthy to be our friendssss, right, preciouss?" Lullums comforted it and they both made their way back to the island, Lullums paddling and Squid swimming.


End file.
